Lessons Learned in the Past Create Your Future

Tande-ism: Lessons learned in the past create your future.

Client Coaching Session: I met a woman at a Christmas reception whose comments seemed to reflect the thoughts of others. She said, “This is really a critical time in my life. I just want to brush off the grunge of last year. And, I am looking forward to starting fresh, with a new sense of purpose.” I asked her to explain further. “Well, I achieved some of my goals, but I just did not accomplish everything I planned. While I had great ideas, I had a hard time staying focused because distractions seemed to pop up all the time. I want to do more in 2008, but how can I be sure I am more productive this year than last?” She sighed!

Coaching Moment: There is something about ringing in the New Year that is a pivotal point in most people’s lives. This is a time to pause and think about how to make the most in 2008. Therefore, if you are a true student of life, there is much to learn from each success or mistake made in 2007. Remember, we all make mistakes! Don’t bury your head in the sand and ignore the beauty of the lesson within! Decide to act differently; review what you’ve done and find the learning in it. You just might discover some life defining moments!

Oh, one more thing…"what you focus on is what you get." If you focus on the distractions, you’ll attract more distractions. I know, you must tend to some interruptions, however, if you stay consciously focused on your professional and personal goals, you are likely to achieve more than you think possible.

Just like the realtors talk about the highest and best use of real estate, I suggest you think about the highest and best use of your time as it relates to your goals! By employing the 80/20 rule, commit to devote 20% of your time to generate 80% quality results. You can do it!

What goals did you accomplish in 2007? What did you learn from these successes?

What setbacks did you experience in 2007 and what can you learn from those?

In what ways did you limit yourself? How will you expand your efforts?

Step into your greatness!

Merry Christmas from our family to yours!

Christmas 2007!
Wow has time flown by!
Not only has this year zipped by, but when I look at this picture, the past 18 years could be measured in staccato beats!

I am happy to share this pic of my family with you. We are most proud of our children. Marcus, a senior at the Hotchkiss School, Lakeville, CT just received his acceptance into the University of Pennsylvania!! I am exhilarated to say the least. He now thinks he is a college man. I have to remind him that he still has 1 semester left and that until he walks across the stage and receives the diploma, he is still in high school.

Ariel, a beautful thoughtful young lady, is an artiste! She is 10th grade and enjoys living in color. She is currently interested in fashion design. Hopefully, she'll have an opportunity to attend a summer program where she'll get the best instruction.

My husband, Seymour, is the best dermatologist in Houston...proudly, I say in the country. If you need beautiful skin and hair, he has the answer!

I love personal coaching --encouraging you to develop mental toughness. "Unleash your spirit and transform your life"!

God bless you eternally. Call 2007 a wrap!

Wisdom

On a daily basis, we average about 60,000 thoughts and make 612 decisions, most of which are routine and require little effort. However, we may agonize over others and second guess ourselves repeatedly. Periodically, the mental, physical and emotional battle of “should I or shouldn’t I” grips us in ways that saps our well being and, in some instances, impairs the relationship we have with others. Then, we sheepishly (or not) pray: “God, pleeeze, just figure it out, and let me know when you’re done! Oh, by the way, can you hurry up?”
Wisdom can be defined as having good judgment, insight, a wise attitude, belief or a course of action.
Wisdom allows us to look at disjointed facts, analyze them, and come to the best solution. Philosophically, wisdom makes the best of use of the knowledge that is available. As we incorporate more wisdom in our lives, we can assume that our confidence increases.

So, how do we get wisdom? I suggest that we permit Solomon, who prayed and asked God for wisdom, to be our mentor. The explanation is from the Life Application Bible.

PUT GOD FIRST
If you want favor with both God and man, and a reputation for good judgment and common sense, then trust the Lord completely; don’t ever trust yourself. In everything you do, put God first, and he will direct you and crown your efforts with success. (Proverbs 3:4-6) When we have an important decision to make, we sometimes feel that we can’t trust anyone---not even God. But God knows what is best for us. He is a better judge of what we want than even we are! We must trust him completely in every choice we make. Bring your decisions to God in prayer. To succeed, said Solomon, we must put God first in our lives. Keep him in first place in everything you do; then he will crown your efforts with success because you will be working to accomplish his purposes.

Tell me:

1. What benefits do you expect from having more wisdom in your career and life?
2. What are willing to do to gain more wisdom? What are you willing to give up?

Step Into Your Greatness!

Write it down and Get it Right

Tande-ism: When you write it down, you get it right! Tandelyn Weaver

Are your actions aligned with your true values? If you are like most women, you might have to stop for a moment and think about it!

Do you focus on what is really important in your life or do you get so caught up in your work that you truly forget the most important things in life? How much time and energy to you put into your loved ones, health, & energy?

Perhaps you want to spend time in several areas of life but you are so overwhelmed with the sheer size of one area (ex: career) or even the number of different things (ex: to do lists), you can't figure out what to do.

As a coach, this is a good time to talk about prioritizing.
1. I suggest to my clients that they take a look at each thing that they wish to do or need to do.
2. Put each item in a sequence according how important (from 1 - 10) it is to get it done.
3. Then put a deadline on each activity.
4. doing 2+3 creates a weighted average for each listed activity.
Now you can list them to numerical order.

Now, write down (preferably in a journal) why each one of these activities is important. As you dig deep into its value to you, you'll begin to get clarity on just what and why you need to put your attention on. by writing it down, you'll have a 'concrete" document which can act as daily reminder of what's really important to you.

These include building and sustaining positive relationships with your loved ones, family, and friends. Also include taking care of yourself, your health and well-being -- exercising regularly, eating properly, medical examinations, and rest and recreation. Really, these are the real things that make up the true meaning of life.

When you keep a journal of all your goals, be sure to list the any successes you have. The journal can serve as a tool to see where you started and where you are now. Once you recognize the positive improvements, you'll have the additional benefits of increased confidence and higher self esteem.

Remember, when you are near the end of your life, you want to be able to look back and say with joy and contentment that "I enjoyed what I did with my life!" In general, people most likely will not say that they wished to have spent more time in the office."

Tell me: Are you overhwelmed? What areas are out of control? What are you willing to do about it?

What are you waiting for? You're approved!

For many people, there comes a time when you believe everything you say and do is simply "not smart enough." Whether you realize it or not, what you mean is "I am not smart enough to please my ego."

Basic Psychology 101, says that the ego wants to restrict you to the status quo. It does NOT like it when you try new things especially if it takes you out of your comfort zone. When you dare to venture into uncharted territory, the Ego's weapon of mass destruction (E-WMD) is to whisper ever so quietly, an endless stream of negative chatter, including "you are not smart enough."

What if everything you did was the result of being smart enough? Sometimes, it takes fortitude and tenacity to accept that the power of being "smart enough" resides within you. You have to make a conscious decision to not look for approval of any kind outside of yourself. When you can say to yourself " I love you and I am the only one whose approval I must seek," then you have arrived!

Tell Me: How much more could you get done, if the only one who had to approve you was you?

Step Into Your Greatness!

Perfectionism Isn't All That It's Cracked Up To Be

Tande-ism: Perfection is a lofty goal, that is, until it stops you in your tracks. Tandelyn Weaver

Client Coaching Session: Recently, one of my clients said she could not decide between two potentially successful business opportunities (let's say Plan A and B). While she felt very positive about each, she seemed to talk more enthusiastically and confidently about Plan B. When I made her aware that everything in her conversation seemed to lean in that direction, and she was naturally talented in that area, she agreed that it made sense to pursue Plan B. Mind you, we had discussed this same topic several times before, but she had not made any progress.

Additionally, she had done excellent research and knew lots about each business. But within a few short minutes, we were right back where we started and she said she could not make up her mind.

So, it became clear that something else was operating here. It was not the business, per se. But what was it?


Coaching Moment: I asked if something else was going on? As a single mom of 2 young children, she had been living off her savings and was getting down to the last 4-6 months of money. After a few more questions, my client suggested that she couldn't risk losing money especially if she couldn't really be sure if everything wasn't going to work out perfectly.

So there we were, "perfectionism" had sneaked in and had a stranglehold on her!


Challenging her to look at it from another perspective, I asked, "What if everything worked out successfully, how would you feel if you had not pursued this opportunity?" Her silence said it all. "Really disappointed in myself." I asked, "Do you want to still give your dream a chance?" Yes!
Further questioning gave way to clarity. Because she had been smack dab in the middle of a hazy conflict, she felt timid about taking the first steps. She knew she could do this, but she was simply paralyzed.

She needed to structure a positive support system around her. Therefore, I asked was there someone who'd walk with her through the initial steps. She had a good friend who filled the bill.
She called her friend who excitedly agreed to support her by accompanying her to some of the initial meetings and helping her get set up. Now, she is off and running!

Perfectionism is just enough of a goal to make the pursuit of it quite challenging. It creates a "gray" zone, when you are trying to make "black and white" decisions. Trying to be perfect can literally stop you in your tracks. Perfection, anyone? Run in another direction!


Tell me: What is hazy for you? Where in your life is clarity needed?

Step into your greatness!

Don't make a mistake...unless you want to succeed!